and then there definite and rational reasons as to why I hate this fucking holiday, and why no matter what relationship situation I find myself in, I feel alone and/or abandoned.
perhaps I am crying because he didnt call me tonite
perhaps I am crying because he is not here right now, that him gone pains me as it would if a limb were bludeoned off by axe
perhaps I cry because I try to be strong, to not tie him down with how I feel
perhaps it is all in the same, perhaps it is this horridly commercial day and having the fact that although I am loved I am on my own rubbed in my face by many, or perhaps it is something completely and entirely different than mentioned.
So I do what I do every year, atypical to how most women would react if put in the same circumstances, I invigorate my mind.
This is indeed my Kinsey year, and today was its high peak.
going to sleep with a full brain to dream of possibility