* (seven_worlds) wrote,

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little miss fucked in the head

sometimes I am totally mystified by how my emotions are generated despite events going in the opposite direction.

and then there definite and rational reasons as to why I hate this fucking holiday, and why no matter what relationship situation I find myself in, I feel alone and/or abandoned.

perhaps I am crying because he didnt call me tonite
perhaps I am crying because he is not here right now, that him gone pains me as it would if a limb were bludeoned off by axe
perhaps I cry because I try to be strong, to not tie him down with how I feel

perhaps it is all in the same, perhaps it is this horridly commercial day and having the fact that although I am loved I am on my own rubbed in my face by many, or perhaps it is something completely and entirely different than mentioned.

So I do what I do every year, atypical to how most women would react if put in the same circumstances, I invigorate my mind.
This is indeed my Kinsey year, and today was its high peak.

going to sleep with a full brain to dream of possibility
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